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High School Safety Guide

Comprehensive guides for high schoolers on consent, healthy relationships, legal rights, and preparing for life after graduation. Essential topics for ages 14-18.

9th Grade

High School Year 1 Ninth grade marks the beginning of high school and a critical time for understanding personal safety, digital responsibility, and legal rights. This year builds on middle school foundations while introducing more complex topics.

Sexual Harassment

Understanding verbal and physical forms of sexual harassment and how to identify them.

Key Points

Sexual harassment can be verbal: inappropriate comments, catcalling, or discriminatory language
Physical sexual harassment: any unwanted touch on any part of the body
Touch is considered physical sexual harassment as long as it is unwanted – it does not need to be repeated
Physical sexual harassment isn't always sexual in nature – 'sexual' refers to touch of another's body
Accidental, one-time contact is not harassment, but repeated unwanted contact is
Listening when people are talking is how we stay safe and make sure other people are safe

💬 Conversation Starters (1)

Explaining the difference between accidents and harassment

Parent: “If someone bumps into you once in the hallway and apologizes, that's probably an accident. But what if it happens every day for a week?”

Child: “That seems like they're doing it on purpose.”

Parent: “Exactly. When unwanted contact becomes a pattern, it's harassment, even if each individual incident seems minor. The key is whether it's repeated and unwanted.”

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Sexual harassment can be verbal, which may include inappropriate comments, catcalling, or other inappropriate language used either in a sexual manner or in a way that discriminates against a person's gender.
Not only can sexual harassment be verbal, but it can also be physical. It is any touch, on any part of the body.
Touch is considered physical sexual harassment as long as it is unwanted – it does not need to be repeated.
Physical sexual harassment isn't always sexual in nature. The word "sexual" is used to reference the touch of somebody else's body.
It can sometimes be tricky to tell whether or not something is sexual harassment. A good way to explain it is through this example:
Example 1: One day at school, someone bumps into you in the hallway. They apologize, and you keep going on with your day. This would NOT be considered sexual harassment. Though the person touched someone when it wasn't wanted, it was an accident and not repeated again.
Example 2: One day at school, someone bumps into you in the hallway. They apologize, and you keep going on with your day. The next day, though, it happens again. It keeps happening every day for an entire week. This WOULD be considered sexual harassment. Though it seems like the first time was unintentional, the person continued to touch someone else when it was unwanted and it continued to happen. When that is the case, it is not an accident.

Sexual Assault

Understanding what constitutes sexual assault under Connecticut law.

Key Points

Sexual assault: any unwanted touch to an intimate area of the body
In Connecticut, intimate parts include: breasts, butt, genitals, and inner thighs
Your child can label any parts of their body as intimate, but Connecticut law specifically covers these areas
Sexual assault covers behaviors that are unwanted – they do not have to be repeated to be covered under law
This is different from sexual harassment, which typically involves repeated behavior on non-intimate areas

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Sexual assault is any unwanted touch to an intimate area of the body.
State law defines what are considered intimate parts of the body in which unwanted touching would be considered sexual assault. In Connecticut, the parts of the body included are the breasts, butt, genitals, and inner thighs.
Your child can label any parts of their body as intimate; however, Connecticut only covers these parts under state law.
Sexual assault covers behaviors that are unwanted – they do not have to be repeated in order to be covered under law.
This is different from sexual harassment, which typically involves repeated behavior on non-intimate areas of the body.

Sexting & Child Sexual Abuse Material

Understanding the serious legal and personal risks of sharing intimate content as a minor.

Key Points

Sexting: sending intimate content through text, social media, or messaging apps – including written content, images, videos, and even suggestive emojis
Anyone under 18 who takes or sends intimate photos of themselves or others is engaging in illegal behavior
Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM): any visual depiction of sexual conduct involving a minor (under 18)
Previously called 'child pornography' – the new language reflects that children cannot consent to creating such material
Even if a minor agrees to take or send a photo, this is NOT consent – minors cannot legally consent to creating intimate images
Our goal is not to get teens in trouble, but to teach them about risks to prevent this behavior

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Sexting is when someone sends intimate content through text message, social media direct message, or other messaging system or app.
It can include written content, images, or videos – and even emojis. For example, the eggplant emoji is often used when sexting in reference to male genitalia.
Talking to your children about sexting is incredibly important, as anyone who is under 18 that takes or sends intimate photos of themselves or others is engaging in illegal behavior.
Child Sexual Abuse Material (or CSAM) is any visual depiction of sexual conduct involving a minor, which is a person less than 18 years old.
In the past, it has been called child pornography – it's important to use the new language because children cannot consent to creating pornography.
Any images created or sent by minors are considered CSAM, even if they agreed to taking or sending the photo. Just because they might have agreed does not mean they consented – again, anyone below the age of 18 cannot consent to taking or sending intimate photos of their bodies.
Our goal is not to get them into trouble for CSAM-related charges. Our goal is to teach minors about the risks to lessen their chances of engaging in this behavior.

Sextortion

Recognizing and responding to online exploitation attempts.

Key Points

Sextortion often starts when young people believe they're communicating with someone their own age interested in a relationship
The perpetrator could be an acquaintance, friend, or stranger on social media, text, or video games
They aim to build trust to get targets to send intimate images or videos
After receiving content, they threaten to publish it unless the victim sends more money, photos, or complies with demands
The shame, fear, and confusion often prevents victims from asking for help
No matter what was sent, the victim is still a victim of a crime and it's not their fault
Best response: refrain from sending money, save all messages, and speak to a trusted adult

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Sextortion often starts when young people believe they are communicating with someone their own age who is interested in a relationship or with someone who is offering something of value.
The person on the other end of the line – whether that's on social media, text, or even video games – could be an acquaintance, friend, or stranger.
This person aims to create feelings of trust with their targets in order to get them to send intimate images or videos.
After the perpetrators have received one or more videos or pictures from their target, they threaten to publish or send that content – or even threaten violence – to get the victim to send more money, photos, videos, or engage in another behavior.
The shame, fear, and confusion young people feel when they are caught in this cycle often prevents them from asking for help or reporting the abuse.
No matter if your child has sent any images, videos, or even money, they are still a victim of a crime and none of this is their fault.
It's important to share with your child that the best way to get out of this sort of situation is to refrain from sending money, save all messages with the sextortionist, and speak to a trusted adult.
The police can support you when a case of sextortion occurs.

Title IX

Understanding your rights under federal law to be protected from sex and gender-based discrimination in education.

Key Points

Title IX: protects students from sex and gender-based discrimination in education programs receiving federal funding
Your rights include: getting an equal education, being free from discrimination, feeling safe at school
You have the right to report sexual harassment and have your school take action to prevent it
Title IX originally aimed for equality in scholastic sports programs
If one sports team gets better facilities that affect academics, that may be a Title IX violation

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Title IX aims to protect students from sex and gender-based discrimination in education programs or activities that receive federal funding. The rights students receive from Title IX are: • Get an equal education • Be free from discrimination • Feel safe at school • Report sexual harassment • Have action taken by your school to prevent sexual harassment Your child might have heard of Title IX before because of its original purpose – to aim for equality within scholastic sports programs. One example to use to explain Title IX might be: The softball team at a high school plays on a field equipped with stadium seating and powerful lights. The team goes over right after school to practice, and can be on the field after it gets dark because of the lighting. The baseball team at the same high school plays on a field with no amenities. The team has to leave school early in order to get in a full practice before the field gets dark. This situation is an example of a Title IX violation. The baseball team has to miss school in order to get a full practice, which the softball team does not have to do. The baseball team does not have access to the same resources, like the powerful lights, that the softball team has. To remedy this situation, the school could either put lights on the baseball field as well, or create a system in which each team plays on the baseball field one day and the softball field the next to make their access to school and sports the same.

Being an Empowered Bystander: The 5 D's

Learning the 5 D's framework for safely intervening when you witness harmful situations.

Key Points

The 5 D's framework was developed by college students to help people intervene without direct confrontation
Not everyone feels comfortable stepping directly into a situation – these methods give everyone options
Direct: Intervene directly if it's safe to do so
Distract: Create a diversion to de-escalate the situation
Delegate: Seek help from a third party, like a trusted adult or security officer
Document: Take photos or videos only if safe, and only share with the victim, not social media
Delay: Check in with the person being harassed afterwards to offer support

💬 Conversation Starters (2)

Walking through a cafeteria scenario

Parent: “Imagine you see two students start fighting in the cafeteria. Using the 5 D's, what could you do?”

Child: “I could get a teacher or security officer.”

Parent: “That's delegating – great choice! You could also check on the person who was hurt later, which is delaying. The goal is always to de-escalate, not make things worse.”

Understanding secrets vs. surprises

Parent: “Let's talk about the difference between a secret and a surprise. A surprise is something fun that we'll tell soon, like a birthday party. A secret is something we're told never to tell.”

Child: “So surprises are okay but secrets aren't?”

Parent: “If an adult asks you to keep a secret from me or your teachers, that's not okay, and you should tell me right away.”

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Walking through a cafeteria scenario

Parent: “Imagine you see two students start fighting in the cafeteria. Using the 5 D's, what could you do?”

Child: “I could get a teacher or security officer.”

Parent: “That's delegating – great choice! You could also check on the person who was hurt later, which is delaying. The goal is always to de-escalate, not make things worse.”

Understanding secrets vs. surprises

Parent: “Let's talk about the difference between a secret and a surprise. A surprise is something fun that we'll tell soon, like a birthday party. A secret is something we're told never to tell.”

Child: “So surprises are okay but secrets aren't?”

Parent: “If an adult asks you to keep a secret from me or your teachers, that's not okay, and you should tell me right away.”

Reporting & Trusted Adults

Teaching students that reporting someone who is harming themselves or others is not snitching - it's reporting.

Key Points

Snitching/Tattling: reporting to an adult in bad faith, finding an issue within a safe situation
Reporting: telling a trusted adult about a dangerous situation, looking out for safety, speaking up when something is wrong or unsafe
A Trusted Adult is someone who: is reliable, caring, non-judgmental; will help and take action; will remain calm; respects boundaries
Trusted adults can be teachers, administrators, counselors, school staff, community members, parents, or relatives
Encourage your child to make a list of trusted adults collaboratively

🎯 Practice Activities (2)

Create a Trusted Adult List : Work with your child to identify multiple trusted adults they can turn to. Make sure the list includes at least one school staff member.
Model Being a Trusted Adult : Listen without judgment, assist and take action, remain calm when child reaches out, respect their boundaries, help identify other trusted adults
Daily Connection Time : Spend time with your child every day. Any time is better than no time. Make it dedicated to connection, not just about safety topics.

7th Grade

As students enter 7th grade, they face more complex social situations and increased online interactions. This year focuses on understanding harassment, assault, and how to navigate challenging situations both online and offline.

Sexual Harassment Prevention

Sexual harassment is unwanted or unwelcome sexual remarks, actions, or physical advances toward another person.

Key Points

Sexual harassment Sexual harassment Unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature that creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment. Sexual harassment Unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature that creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment. can be sexual, sex-based, or gender-based, regardless of the harasser's orientation or interests
Connecticut does not have specific criminal statutes for sexual harassment
Physical sexual harassment: any unwanted touching of hair, body, or clothing (e.g., unwanted shoulder massages, hugging without permission)
Verbal sexual harassment: unwanted and repeated words, remarks, or jokes about a person's body, gender, or relationships
Examples include catcalling, sexually explicit jokes, and repeatedly asking someone out
Sexual harassment can also be teasing, intimidating, or offensive comments based on stereotypes or bullying based on sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation

Sexual Assault

In Connecticut, all criminal acts of sexual violence are defined as sexual assault.

Key Points

Sexual assault is sexual contact with intimate parts of the body (chest, buttocks, genitals, inner thigh) without consent
It includes any contact through use of force, coercion, fraud, or if the person is mentally or physically incapacitated
The statute of limitations for sexual assault depends on the particular crime charged, the victim's age, and whether there is DNA evidence

The 5Ds of Bystander Intervention

Five different methods to support someone who's being harassed: Distract, Delegate, Document, Delay, and Direct.

Key Points

Distract: Create a distraction to interrupt the behavior (start a conversation, ask a random question, shift attention)
Delegate: Get help from an adult, teacher, counselor, or another student in authority
Document: Record what happened if safe - write down details (who, when, where, what). Only record video/photos if safe and with permission
Delay: Check in afterward - 'Are you okay?' or 'I saw what happened' shows support and care
Direct: When safe, speak up clearly and calmly - 'That's not okay' or 'Leave them alone'
IMPORTANT: Never share documentation without the person's consent - being harassed is already disempowering

Sexting

Sexting is the sharing and receiving of intimate messages and nude or partially nude images via cell phone.

Key Points

Sexts may be sent through regular text messages, apps like Snapchat and WhatsApp, or through online games
Children may sext to establish intimacy, impress a crush, be funny, or feel pressured by partners
Kids may not foresee a situation where the person they send a sext to shares it with others
Consequences can be academically, socially, and emotionally devastating
Kids who sext may be at risk for sextortion, getting in trouble at school, being bullied, or legal trouble

🎯 Practice Activities (2)

How to Report NCII (Non-Consensual Intimate Images)
Report to the website/app, CyberTipline.org (can report anonymously), the police, or a trusted adult at school
Take It Down Service
Free service from NCMEC to remove or stop online sharing of nude/partially nude images of people under 18. You remain anonymous and don't send images to anyone.

Sextortion

Sextortion often starts when young people believe they are communicating with someone their own age who is interested in a relationship.

Key Points

Can start on any site, app, messaging platform, or game where people meet and communicate
Perpetrators aim to create feelings of trust to get targets to send intimate images or videos
After receiving content, they threaten to publish it or use violence to get more money, photos, videos, or behaviors
Shame, fear, and confusion often prevent young people from asking for help
No matter what has been sent, the child is still a victim of a crime - none of this is their fault
Best way out: refrain from sending money, save all messages with the sextortionist, speak to a trusted adult
Police can support you, and NCMEC's Take It Down program can help remove intimate images

Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM)

CSAM is any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (person less than 18 years old).

Key Points

These are not just pictures or videos - they are records of real children being sexually abused
Once uploaded, it can be shared endlessly with the click of a button
Previously called 'child pornography' - important to use new language because children cannot consent to creating pornography
Any images created or sent by minors are considered CSAM, even if they consented
CSAM includes: sexual acts involving a minor, images of child's genitals/private areas, live-streamed abuse, AI-generated content, any content that sexualizes or exploits a child
Goal is not to get minors in trouble, but to teach about risks and lessen chances of engaging in this behavior

💬 Conversation Starters (1)

Teaching body boundaries

Parent: “Let's talk about different types of touches. Safe touches keep you safe and make you feel loved, like hugs or high-fives. Unsafe touches hurt your body or feelings. And there are unwanted touches - these might be safe, but you don't want them at that moment.”

Child: “So I can say no even to safe touches?”

Parent: “Absolutely! You have the right to say no to any touch that makes you uncomfortable, even from family members. Let's practice saying no in a strong but polite voice.”

Title IX

Title IX aims to protect students from sex and gender-based discrimination in education programs or activities that receive federal funding.

Key Points

Student rights from Title IX: get an equal education, be free from discrimination, feel safe at school, report sexual harassment
Schools must take action to prevent sexual harassment
Once a school is made aware of sexual violence, they are legally obligated to respond
Once the Title IX office or designated employee is aware, they must respond - no excuse
Students can file complaints with the Office of Civil Rights (OCR) and have the right to appeal determinations
Appeals must be filed within 60 calendar days and cannot exceed 10 pages (double-spaced)
Can file complaints through state (Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities) or federal agencies (Office for Civil Rights - US Department of Education)

Reporting & Trusted Adults

Understanding the difference between snitching and reporting, and identifying trusted adults.

Key Points

Snitching/Tattling: reporting to an adult in bad faith, finding an issue within a safe situation
Reporting: telling a trusted adult about a dangerous situation, looking out for safety, speaking up when something is wrong
A Trusted Adult: reliable, caring, non-judgmental; will help and take action; remains calm; respects boundaries
Encourage collaborative creation of a trusted adult list - make sure it includes at least one school staff member
Being a trusted adult requires practice and effort - it's okay to have strong emotions but remain calm when a child discloses something

8th Grade

Middle School Year 3 In 8th grade, students are preparing for high school and facing more mature topics. This year includes review of previous content plus understanding consent laws and age-appropriate relationships.

The 5Ds of Bystander Intervention (Review)

Review and practice the five methods to support someone who's being harassed.

Key Points

Distract: Create a distraction to interrupt the behavior
Delegate: Get help from someone in authority
Document: If safe, record details or evidence (but never share without consent)
Delay: Check in afterward to show support
Direct: When safe, speak up clearly and calmly against the behavior
Remember: Being harassed is already disempowering - don't make it worse by publicizing footage without consent

Sexting (Review)

Review of sexting risks and how to report non-consensual intimate images.

Key Points

Sexting can lead to sextortion, school trouble, bullying, or legal issues
Report NCII to: website/app, CyberTipline.org, police, or trusted adult
Use Take It Down service to remove images without sharing them
Never share intimate images without explicit permission from the person in them

Sextortion (Review)

Understanding and preventing sextortion attempts.

Key Points

Sextortion starts when perpetrators gain trust and obtain intimate images
They then threaten to publish content unless victim sends more money, photos, or videos
It is NEVER the victim's fault, regardless of what was sent
Best response: don't send money, save all messages, tell a trusted adult immediately
Police and NCMEC's Take It Down program can help

Child Sexual Abuse Material (Review)

Understanding CSAM and how to stay safe online.

Key Points

CSAM is any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor
Once uploaded, it spreads endlessly - this is real abuse of real children
Any images created or sent by minors count as CSAM, even with consent
Talk with kids about: body boundaries, consent including online boundaries, what to do if someone makes them uncomfortable
Monitor tech use - not just the screen, but behavior changes
Watch for warning signs: withdrawal, anxiety, inappropriate sexual knowledge, avoidance behaviors, grade drops

Frequently Asked Questions

To protect kids from adults. Age of consent laws exist because adults have more power, experience, and brain development than children and teenagers.

Why is there a Romeo and Juliet law?

The goal of the age of consent law is to protect kids from adults, not to punish kids. While it may not necessarily be developmentally appropriate, kids shouldn’t be punished for engaging in sexual behavior with someone around their same age. The Romeo and Juliet law recognizes this and provides exceptions for close-in-age relationships.

No. It is always the older person’s responsibility, because they have more power. This relates to differences in brain development, life experience, and the power dynamics that exist between adults and minors.

Shouldn't it be illegal for anyone under 18 to have sex?

The laws surrounding what’s legal at various ages differ. For example, you have to be 18 to vote or 21 to purchase alcohol. Different ages are set for different rights and responsibilities. The age of consent (16 in Connecticut) is set based on research about adolescent development and the need to protect young people while recognizing that teenagers make their own decisions about relationships with peers.

Why would an adult want to have sex with someone who is 16, even if it is legal?

Any adult who seeks out romantic or sexual relationships with teenagers is exhibiting concerning behavior. Even if something is technically legal, it doesn’t make it appropriate. Healthy adults form relationships with other adults, not with teenagers. If an adult is pursuing a teenager, it raises serious questions about their judgment and motivations.

Additional Resources

External articles, guides, and activities for deeper learning

📚Legal and Reporting Resources

📚Support Services